Is Anybody Listening?!?!?

If my body could use actual words, it would probably say just that. "Um, Hello? Can you HEAR me?"

Since it can't, it speaks in other ways - like getting sick. And for some reason, this flu has been tough to shake. I am definitely not SICK sick, but my energy levels are so low. I can do short bursts of activity, but then take two days to recover. It's a big change from my previous pace of life, which is a whole lot of 'doing' and not much 'being'. A lot of driving my children to destinations, A lot of visiting with friends, and so on. I think my body has been trying to get my attention, and instead of listening to what it had to say, I was offering quick fixes for its problems. Tired? Have another coffee. Achy? Take a Panadol. Energy flagging? PB&J. 

The problem with that is that eventually, my body decided it would take matters into its own hands. I was gifted with influenza, and I really mean to say 'gifted'. Because I was so sick, I could do almost nothing. I was forced to slow down, to listen to the messages my body was telling me. I gave it what it was crying out for, and slowly, we are walking a road to health. 

Until I'm nutritionally back on my feet, I'm back on my multivitamin, iron tablet, and omega-3. I notice a difference when I'm taking them, and it's worth it. My appetite is still a bit off, so it will fill in the gaps. 

I'm still working on drinking more water. I'm still not buying junk at the shop. Which is good, because the other night I really really wanted it, and we had nothing in the house. 

I'm also resting when I need to. Letting go of the 'do' in favour of the 'be'. 

And I've signed up with a health coaching service, which was a while ago but I think it's 'clicking' now. 

I've started my food/exercise diary again. It works really well for me, so I just need to do it.

And that's about all for today. Which is really quite a lot of progress (actual and mental), so I'm calling it a victory!

xo, Sarah

Plot Twist!

Things have been slightly derailed here. The flu came to visit my home (we're blaming the preschooler), and appetites, energy levels, have been all over the place. Plus, one of my children had to stay in hospital (show off much?) for three days, so I was driving back and forth, and we were absolutely inundated with generous deliveries of healthy meals and even some sweets!! For the most part, I continued (as my stomach allowed) to make reasonable choices. A few slips, mostly because my need to stay awake whilst driving required caffeine. Now though, we're home, and I'm able to make the switch from "Survivor: Kardella Ave" to normal family life. Or as normal as it can be during school holidays. One thing I'm determined to do though, is have set meal times. I don't want to spend all day in the kitchen, while the children just revolve through. I want us to all eat at the same time, so I can clean up the mess and get on with the fun of holidays. Just under one month to go, and while I've been knocked for 6, I am still determined that I should not give up. My original goal, my original intent - it's all still there. And even on a hard day, when I can't see the end of this road, I still love them more than chips. Or Coke, or Cadbury. Yes, even Cadbury. 


XO, Sarah

40 Days to 40!

So far so good. I went shopping after a very long day chasing a toddler, pacifying a preschooler, playing nursemaid to two sick children. I hadn't eaten dinner, so I was hungry. Tired, hungry, and stressed would normally guarantee some dodgy decision making, involving Aisle 4 and some Brie. I was under budget constraints though, and the knowledge that I'd have to confess it here made it an easy decision. So no junk food today! 

As for the new healthy choice I made today? I ate breakfast before I had coffee. A proper breakfast, with fruit.

There you have it. One habit sustained, one habit begun. Small, but wise choices. 

Good night!

Selfishly Unselfish

Which sounds like a massive contradiction in terms, I know. How can one be both selfish AND unselfish? 

For years I have struggled with my weight. I have hidden behind any number of obstacles, too afraid to climb over them. I wrote about it here, and I wanted to believe that I was ready to make real, lasting changes. But as is normal for me, I quickly let my enthusiasm get swallowed by everyday life. 

Raising four squidlets is HARD. Supporting my husband through a law degree? A LOT HARDER than I thought it would be. But do you know the hardest thing of all? Admitting that I am important enough to be a priority. I'm quite happy to schedule my day around my husband's running, the children's swimming, housework - but seeing my own exercise as equally important? No way. I put so much effort and thought into planning what my children will eat for lunch, ensuring they have a healthy selection of food to sustain their growth and learning at school. Do I even come close to putting that much thought into my own need for sustained energy throughout the day? Nope. 

I've written about self-care vs. self-love, and I think too often, I class "self-care" as selfish. It feels good, therefore it must be a luxury. Why do I think this way? It's not helpful, and all it's scored me is a body which functions poorly, feels worse, and is not yet forty, but feels 75. 

I turn Forty in just 41 days. I won't be reaching my ultimate health goals in that short time frame, thanks to a finely honed knack for making excuses and procrastinating. My goal in that time isn't based on weight or numbers. My goal in that time is to adopt just one healthy habit each day, and to sustain it. By the time I enter my Fortieth Year Of Life (Capitalisation intended), I will be living a healthier, more active lifestyle. The weight, the fitness - will take care of itself, if I do my part. 

One of my hurdles is emotional eating. I'm stressed a lot. And this means I eat a lot. Or eat erratically. Or eat too much. Or too little. 

Another hurdle is water. Or the lack thereof. The birth of my third child (and the fourth, 13 months after that) has left me with a lingering complication, meaning that I don't drink a lot of water. Since one of my health goals is to drop excess weight and adapt a lifestyle so that I can have this complication surgically repaired, it's kind of funny that I have to drink more water as part of the process. 

Aaaaand...exercise. This one is weird. I actually really like getting out and exercising. I loved going out for a 5k walk, I loved going swimming. I loved doing my exercise class before I fell pregnant with #3. The challenge here isn't that I hate exercise. It's that I have to sacrifice caring for my family in the here and now, in order to be able to better care for them later. I feel like it's wrong for me to be unavailable for the 30-45 minutes it takes for me to squeeze in a workout. The reality is, I'll be unavailable for a heck of a lot longer than that if I don't make my health a priority. And given the benefits to my mental health, I should be all over this. 

So there you have it. Nothing earth-shattering. Just one mama's journey to wellbeing, one habit at a time. 

Today, I was at the shop with two of my children (stressful much?), and I was staring at the ice cold bottles of soft drink, and the bags of chips. I so wanted to go there. But I thought of this article, and softly but firmly said to no one in particular, "I love them more than I love Coke and chips". Hence the name of this blog. This blog is as much a promise to them as it is to me. That I will choose to love them more than I love the crap food and unhealthy lifestyle. I will love them enough to hit the treadmill. I will love them enough to not buy chips. And every day I do not buy them is a victory, a small but hard-won victory, which will lead me to the ultimate goal of a healthier, fitter, (hopefully slimmer!) me. 

Today's healthy change: Not buying junk food at the shop. 

Thanks for reading, 
Sarah